


Mourning Together

by theartistprince



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Gen, major spoilers for 1x09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-29
Updated: 2013-04-29
Packaged: 2017-12-09 22:36:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/778756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theartistprince/pseuds/theartistprince
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lagertha and Athelstan take comfort in each other's company.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mourning Together

**Author's Note:**

> Major spoilers for 1x09. Anyone else majorly shipping Lagertha/Athelstan now?

It seemed like hours before Lagertha could turn away from the pyre containing the remains of her only daughter. 

When she finally found the strength, she could feel her hands shake in an unfamiliar way as she walked back towards the long house.

Her eyes scanned the land in front of her until they fell on a small crouched figure sitting against a wall. Lagertha rushed forward, knowing that dark hair anywhere.

“Athelstan,” she breathed out, kneeling in front of him. She reached a hand out to his forehead, to brush through his bangs while she checked him for a temperature. His skin felt normal to her, which caused her to cock her head slightly. “Why are you out here?”

“I didn’t want to leave you alone,” Athelstan told her, the soft tone of his voice piercing the remains of he heart. 

Lagertha looked down at Athelstan, who merely held her gaze. His bright eyes were rimmed with red, remains of his tears still trailed down his face. 

She sat down next to him against the wooden wall, drawing one of her knees up to her chest. They lapsed into silence for a few minutes, Lagertha grateful at Athelstan’s ability to know when to remain quiet. 

“She begged me to pray for you to our gods,” Lagertha told Athelstan suddenly, causing the dark haired man to snap his attention to her. Lagertha continued to stare forward, but could hear his shaky inhale. “She was very fond of you.”

There was a silence that fell between them before Athelstan laid a hand over Lagertha’s. Athelstan had always been so careful not to break his vow of never touching a woman around her that the sudden contact forced Lagertha to look at him.

She longed to fall apart. To collapse into Athelstan’s arms and cry out, to curse the gods. Se wanted to curse all of them, Odin, Thor, even his Jesus Christ and the pagan gods he had mentioned in the past. She wanted to destroy them for taking her precious daughter away from her mere months after taking her son. 

Instead, she simply allowed herself the indulgence of holding Athelstan’s hand. There was still far too much to do before Lagertha could fall apart and she certainly didn’t plan to do it in the company of others.

“I was very fond of Gyda as well,” Athelstan said softly, looking at their clasped hands. “She reminded me of my sister. She too had an inherently kind heart.”

Lagertha was taken aback but refused to show it. “What happened to her? Your sister.”

“She died from fever as well, along with my parents and brothers. Before I went to the monastery,” Athelstan explained. Whether his voice was still raspy from his bout of illness or barely concealed grief, Lagertha couldn’t tell.

“So they have plagues like this in England?” Lagertha asked, glancing back to the still smoking pyres that littered the beach. 

Athelstan nodded slowly. “I have seen or heard of plagues in every village I have ever visited,” Athelstan informed her. “No matter what gods they do or do not believe in, whether they live in major cities or small villages, no matter the climate, illness is still unfortunately present.”

They lapsed into silence, hands still clasped between them. This minimal contact brought Lagertha a small piece of comfort. Though many had come to her, offering their condolences on her loss, they didn’t know Gyda like Athelstan. Right now, in Kattegat, Athelstan was the last link to her old life. Before Ragnar became Earl.

The life she desperately longed for now.

“What would your god say to me?” Lagertha asked, running the pad of her thumb across Athelstan’s still-smooth hands. “If he could talk to me.”

Athelstan looked out to the beach and sighed, shrugging slightly. “God tells us that all sorrows will pass.”

“Do you believe that?” Lagertha couldn’t help but ask, refocusing her attention on Athelstan. He turned to her, his blue eyes flooding with the same doubt that she had grown used to when discussing his god.

“I have lost many people over my life,” Athelstan confided. Lagertha drew slightly closer to him, again aware of just how little she knew of this man who she shared a home with for so long. “Family, brothers, friends. I have taken comfort in the Lord but I admit, I am still plagued with sadness when I think back on those I have lost.”

Lagertha nodded, thinking about her own losses over the years. She too had been able to go on with her life, knowing that the gods would provide those she mourned with a rich after life. “You still miss them,” Lagertha finished for him, maintaining eye contact.

“Yes,” Athelstan confirmed. “And I suppose I will forever.”

Lagertha couldn’t help but grip Athelstan’s hand tighter, her breath catching in her throat. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes and without another word, Lagertha dropped Athelstan’s hand and stood up.

“Come now,” she demanded, urging Athelstan to stand as well. “You shouldn’t be out here for so long, you’re still ill even if the worst has past.”

Athelstan stood and Lagertha rested a hand in the crook of his elbow, clutching it slightly harder than she had to. There was something unspoken between them, Lagertha thinking only one thing: 

_I can’t lose you too._

Lagertha tugged Athelstan towards where her they had made their home, intending to find him a bed and swaddle him in blankets to ensure that the fever would leave him completely. She would not risk putting him back in the long house, not when he was already so close to death.

Athelstan allowed her to lead him willingly, though he didn’t have much of a choice. Until Ragnar and Björn came back, it was only him and Lagertha and now they needed each other more than ever.


End file.
